Friendship
by Yellowwolf
Summary: As long as he had them, he would be okay. As long as he had them, he could face whatever came his way.' Set during OoTP. Harry just lost Sirius and realizes Hermione and Ron are there for him. R


**Disclaimer:** Of course I own them! That's why this is just a fan fiction.

**Author's note:** This is something I came up with while attempting to work on 'Right Kind of Wrong.' The beginning of this chapter was supposed to be the beginning of my next chapter there but it didn't quite end up like that, as you can see.  
Oh, you should check out my profile and click on the link for the Harry Potter messageboard. It's really great (and I'm not just saying that because I'm an admin there). We do need more active members. It's really fun!

**Friendship**

The common room was abandoned, except for a lone figure sitting on the comfortable couch by the fire. It was still early, it was still dark outside but he couldn't sleep anymore. He hadn't been able to sleep properly for days because of one reason.

Harry's knees were pulled up to his chest and his chin was resting on them. His gaze was fixed firmly on the fire. The yellow/orange/red flames were doing a dance of their own while casting an almost eerie glow around the common room. Yet he was unaware of the changing colours of the flames. He was staring almost unblinkingly in the fire while lost in thought.

A single tear made its way out of the corner of his eye and slid slowly down his cheek, leaving behind a trail which could clearly be seen when the flames shone on it. He made no effort to wipe away the tear. It slid down further until it reached his chin where it fell down on his pants. He could not cry anymore and he was glad for that. He had cried enough.

Just a few days ago, he had been misled by his biggest enemy, Voldemort. Voldemort had planted a vision in his head, a vision of his godfather being tortured. Foolish as he was, he had not been able to see that it was a trap. He had not, not even for a second, thought that maybe, just maybe Voldemort intended for him to see it. He had rushed to Sirius's aid, or so he had thought.

What had started out as a rescue mission, had ended in what he had feared when he had seen the vision, Sirius's death. He had seen his godfather fall behind the veil, had seen his once alive eyes go empty as the jet of green light hit him. He'd wanted to kill Bellatrix but he hadn't, hadn't even been able to torture her because that's not who he was. Sometimes, like now, he regretted that. He'd wanted his revenge but hadn't gotten it. He was determined to make her pay for it. One day … one day he would make her pay.

The stupidity of his actions had only really registered that same night while attempting to sleep but not being able to as the only thing he saw behind closed eyelids was his godfather. They were lucky that not more people had died. One of his friends could've died too. It had been close. They, couple of fifth year, had been up against highly trained Death Eaters. They had been lucky they had gotten out alive.

Hermione had warned him that Occlumency was important. Snape had warned him. Dumbledore had warned him. They had all warned him. Yet he hadn't given it his best shot. He had welcomed the connection because that way he knew what Voldemort was up to. Not once had it entered his mind that Voldemort might use it against him. They had all warned him for it but he had ignored him, chosen to keep the connection open. Stupid.

His hands balled into fists at the thought. He felt the overpowering urge to smack himself, curse himself, just hurt himself. It was despair he felt now, desperation. Anger surged through his veins but he realized the only person to blame was himself or perhaps Dumbledore for not telling him sooner about the connection, for not letting Snape train him sooner. Then maybe this could've been prevented. Then maybe Sirius would still be alive. No, it was no one's fault but his own. His nails dug in his flesh. Just a little harder and he would draw blood. He welcomed the sharp sting. His fists relaxed but his heart was still thumping wildly as if expecting more pain.

He let his head fall back against the couch and closed his eyes briefly, or at least intended on closing them briefly. Sirius's face swam into his mind's eye. His godfather was standing before him, smiling at him, holding open his arms. Harry moved into them, hugging him. He broke away, noticed he was at the Order's headquarters but everything seemed blurred somehow. Everything but Sirius. He could see Sirius quite clearly. Sirius's mouth was moving but he couldn't hear what he was saying. A smile formed on his face and he noticed it reached Sirius's eyes. He saw that familiar sparkle. He opened his own mouth but no sound came out. Then the scenery changed. They were inside the ministry. The only thing he saw clearly was still Sirius. The jets of green and red streaking past around them didn't seem real. Sirius was still talking, smiling but suddenly his expression changed. His mouth formed in a silent scream, his eyes widened before the sparkle in his eyes was put out forever. Sirius fell behind the veil and Harry reached out, mouth forming a quiet 'no'. This time sound came out and he heard himself yell.

"Harry!" Someone was shaking his shoulders. His eyes popped open and for a second all he could see was Sirius's expression before he fell behind the veil. He blinked and saw his two best friends stand before him, both looking worried. Hermione's bushy hair seemed to be more bushy than before. Ron's expression was sleepy but both were dressed into their robes. Hermione's hand was still resting on his shoulder. When they noticed he had woken up, they sat down on either side of him.

He noticed it was much lighter in the common room. The fire was no longer the only source of light. Rays of the rising sun were streaming through the windows. A look around told him the three of them were the only ones here.

"You've got to stop beating yourself up over this, mate." Ron said gently. His voice was softer than usual and sounded almost cautious as if he expected to be snapped at any moment.

"I can't, Ron." Harry answered, voice oddly devoid of any emotion.

"It wasn't your fault," Hermione chimed in, "You saw what he wanted you to see. He expected you to come to Sirius's aid because that's the person you are."

"Don't give me that crap, Hermione!" He said, voice rising slightly, "You warned me it might be a trap. I didn't listen."

He looked at her, fire blazing in his eyes. It wasn't anger with her, it was anger with himself. She opened her mouth, then closed it again and shook her head. She stared at him with pity in her eyes and he found out he couldn't handle that so he looked away, gaze once more fixed on the flickering fire.

"You never could've been sure whether it was trap or not." Ron said, "Of course we had to go there and find out."

We. That little word lingered. We.

"You shouldn't have come with me."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked, sounding confused.

"You could've gotten killed."

"Oh, Harry." Hermione exclaimed softly, sighing, "We're in this together. We have been since our first year."

He could feel her hand on his shoulder. He couldn't stand her comforting touch. He shot up from the couch and whirled around, looking down in the confused faces of his two best friends.

"Yes, think about all the times I could've gotten you killed! I don't want you helping me anymore! I don't need your help!" he almost yelled. He realized he needed their help more than anything but it was fear that wanted to drive them away. He couldn't lose them too.

Hermione and Ron exchanged a look which did nothing to improve his temper.

"I don't need you guys to back me up anymore." He shouted, "I can do it on my own! I have to do it on my own! I appreciate the help but I'm the Chosen one. This is my burden and mine alone. I want you to stay out of it! No more help, no more risks! As a matter of fact, it would be better not to be friends anymore!"

His eyes were tearing up and he hated it. He stared down on them, praying they would agree. He knew they wouldn't though and he was right. They stood up as one.

"Don't be stupid, Harry!" Hermione said gently but firmly, "Don't you think Ron and I are well aware of the dangers? We choose to help you because we want to and because we care about you! So don't be ridiculous, don't try to be the big hero. You need our help and you know it!"

"It's not like you're forcing us to help, mate." Ron said, eyes full of compassion.

Harry shook his head and stared down at his feet.

"I can't loose the two of you." He mumbled quietly. He wasn't sure whether they even heard it but he wasn't going to repeat it.

"And you won't, I promise." Hermione said soothingly. He could see her feet move into his field of vision. He looked back up. They were both standing right in front of him now. He knew she couldn't make that kind of promise, that anything could happen but at the moment, it was enough. At the moment, they were here, standing in front of him, wanting to help him. It was a big reassurance that he had them and he realized they wouldn't leave him. He had felt guilty that they helped him out so much but perhaps for the first time he realized they were helping willingly and that meant the world to him. He needed them. It was as simple as that. Without them, he'd be lost.

A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and he nodded. He could see Hermione and Ron visibly relax. Their stances has been tense, now they more had an air or relaxation around them.

"Come here, you idiot." Hermione said affectionately as she hugged him. Harry froze up briefly and then relaxed into the warmth of her body, wrapping his arms around her. The hug was comforting and he kind of regretted when she pulled away.

Ron smiled too and to Harry's big surprise, hugged him as well. The hug was shorter than Hermione's had been but not less comforting.

The three friends settled back on the couch, Harry once more in the middle. For a while they just stared into the fire. Then Hermione broke the silence.

"It really wasn't your fault, Harry. You did what you had to do. Everyone knows that. No one blames you for what happened there."

Harry felt his eyes once more fill up but he just nodded. He chose to keep his mouth shut. _If it hadn't been for me, Sirius wouldn't have died… He died trying to help me so it is my fault… I should've saved him. _Those were just a few of his thoughts that wanted to escape his mouth but he managed to stop himself from actually saying it out loud. Hermione and Ron would just start disagreeing again, saying things like 'Sirius chose to protect you, Harry.' And 'He knew what he was doing.' He didn't want to hear that.

He could vaguely hear sounds in the dormitories. People were starting to wake up.

"Harry, just so you know, we'll always be here for you." Hermione spoke, once more breaking the silence. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry could see Ron nod his agreement.

"Yeah, mate, it's us against the world." He could hear the smile in Ron's voice and unwillingly smiled too. As long as he had them, he would be okay. As long as he had them, he could face whatever came his way.

_The end_

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